True or false: “You are either born funny or you’re not.” – FALSE! This is one of the most disempowering misconceptions among speakers today. As I have started teaching my humor course “No Laughs to Know Laughs – The science and system of adding humor” I have found that the disempowerment extends far beyond speakers into the daily lives of most un-funny people. I am amazed at how badly people want to be funny but how impossible the notion seems to them. Teaching myself to be funny was a very powerful journey, one that will continue everyday for the rest of my life, but what is even more rewarding is how I am watching my students start to feel empowered in their daily lives.

When I actually made the decision that I was going to be a professional speaker for the rest of my life back in December of 2004 I knew that I was going to have to find some way to become funny. I thought to myself “I know I will never be really funny but maybe if I start watching other comedians I will pick up a thing or two.” As I began to watch I quickly realized that while all comedians/speakers have different jokes they nearly all use the same formulas. I became obsessed with comedy, reading every book that was recommended, talking to every funny person I knew, relentlessly watching comedians/speakers, and even taking courses in how to be funnier.

After I tracked about 25 of the most common formulas, I started to understand why people laugh, which is way more important than being able to tell jokes. It finally hit me, humor is a skill! Not a trait! While I certainly believe some people are more predisposed to being funny then others (just like any other skill) it is something that can be learned, improved upon, and even mastered. Humor is a Discipline; and like most Disciplines, it requires Discipline to practice, practice, practice in order to get better. While I am certainly not Jerry Seinfeld, people who come to watch me perform who haven’t seen me in a few years are literally dumbfounded that I am the same person who was completely un-funny just a short time ago.

If you are interested in learning to be funny or you know someone that is (and I think we all do) please let me make some recommendations. It would save you so much time and it is such a more enjoyable process to learn this from someone who has already figured it out. These three guys are among the very best to learn from and all have played a big role in teaching me: Brad Montgomery, Darren LaCroix, and David Glickman. They have great products and services to shorten the learning curve. I also now teach a humor course as mentioned above called “No Laughs to Know Laughs” which is basically a compilation of the very best tips and techniques that I have collected from about 50 different sources.

DISCIPLINE DELVE: Is there something that you have wished you could do your whole life, but just thought it was a talent not given to you? I can almost guarantee that no matter what it is, it can be broken down into a system that upon applying Discipline to, it can be learned and probably even mastered. I dare you, just spend a little time looking into it, seeing if you can identify some systematic parts to it. Ladies and Gentleman I can’t stress enough Discipline, Discipline, Discipline is the key! It is the difference between those people living their dreams, pursuing their dreams, and those of us who say “wow, I wish I could do that.”

Do you have a topic you would like to see me write about? Do you have thoughts on one of my previous posts? Do you have tips for all of us for staying Disciplined? What areas of your life are you or aren’t you currently being Disciplined? Please post your thoughts, you will get a response. RoryVaden is a 23 year old youth motivational speaker and comedian who talks to high school and college aged kids about interpreting the messages of pop culture and incorporating more personal Discipline into their lives.

Mark Twain once said something like: “I try to not let school get in the way of my education.” I have loved that quote for the longest time because I agree with it so firmly. I believe school and education are entirely different. Because I am finishing up my MBA in the next few weeks I have been looking back over my last 6 years in college waiting to see how it was all worth it.

Sadly, I have to say that for me school (mostly undergrad) has been the biggest distraction from accomplishing things with my life that are really important. It has been an intensely frustrating process and I think that my time spent studying Leadership as an Undergrad would’ve been more effectively used by delving in to my own reading list. Why schools have to use textbooks instead of good books? I don’t know, the best professors I've had always just used the best material out there, even if it wasn't a textbook.

A large portion of my time spent in undergrad classes was having nearly useless circular discussions due to no one reading the assigned material. This was either because it was an absurd amount or because the texts were un-provoking, impractical, and bloated with jargon, combined with the unwillingness of the professor to hold people accountable. Does this mean that I regret school? Does this mean that my time, money and energy have been wasted? Does this mean I advocate that people not go to college?

Not at all; because school is a great place to learn Discipline. First, education teaches us that the world cares about and rewards those that go to school, which is often a key ingredient in accomplishing meaningful things. While I do believe that we all too frequently grant undeserving credibility to people just because they went to college (and likewise discount the opinions of well-educated but un-schooled people), I do believe in the value of what completing such a frustrating process says about a person’s Discipline. Not including my MBA studies (which have been quite wonderful), school has almost entirely been about doing things and learning about things that I don’t want to do; thus the chance to develop Discipline.

Second, school is a great playground to learn to play the game of politics, especially for a quote unquote “good student.” Getting straight A’s is almost as much about politics as it is about learning. Also, actually accomplishing anything of real value on a campus in terms of extracurricular activities requires one to work within the unnecessary framework of bureaucracy and to learn to deal with slow and unfair decision making processes. “Welcome to the real world, kid” because it sounds a lot like trying to make changes in corporations and in governments.

I now believe that to cause real change you don’t have time to run the gamut of the bureaucratic maze, and you also can’t tear down the bureaucratic walls either because it costs too much in energy and in the currency of human relationships. Instead you have to learn to tiptoe through the maze learning to recognize and build genuine and meaningful relationships with the ones who know the secret passage ways, the ins and outs, and the shortcuts to other key people in the maze. People are the most important. This process often requires you to walk the delicate lines of persuasion/manipulation, ethics/changing the rules, and self interest/for the benefit of others.

Learning to balance these issues, learning the importance and the
art of treating people right, and developing Discipline is where I contrived most of the value that school has added to my education. Someday I hope to have the challenge of being a professor. My plan would be to take the approach of some of my best professors which is to double up education and school.

DISCIPLINE UN-DUMP Is there some activity that you have written off in your life as having no value? Try to find what that is, and now knowing that you feel that way about it, you have just discovered brand new exercise equipment to build your Discipline. Even though the activity may or may not be worthless, what is not worthless is the Discipline it takes to get you to do it. So do it.

Do you have a topic you would like to see me write about? Do you have thoughts on one of my previous posts? Do you have tips for all of us for staying Disciplined? What areas of your life are you or aren’t you currently being Disciplined? Please post your thoughts, you will get a response. RoryVaden is a 23 year old youth motivational speaker and comedian who talks to high school and college aged kids about interpreting the messages of pop culture and incorporating more personal Discipline into their lives.

Believe it or not, one of my heroes is Eminem. Before you wig out because he and I don’t have a lot in common; let me explain. I believe rap music is one of the most Disciplined professions that exists today. I’m not talking about what these people do in their free time or in the messages they convey, but if you look past the meaning of the words you will see beauty in the amount of time that they put into word-smithing and crafting phrases and rewriting for hours and hours to get what they want. I thought my message would most appropriately be conveyed with a rap of my own…

I’m the voice of this poise, that destroys all the noise, of these boys, who just rap, and just act, and who give us this crap, they did this; they did that, when the matter of fact, it’s just riff, it’s just raff, now their under attack, from me, Rory V, to tell the story, that it ain’t sex with these hoes, don’t break no one’s nose, don’t throw any bows, that’s not the success of the best, put the lyrics to rest, tell the truth, that it’s you, who is to do, what you do, when you do what you do, it is strife after strife, how you got the nightlife, that we see, on TV, wonder why it’s not me, but the key is to be, the best you can be, put all you have in, to be Disciplined, rappers create a system, day out and day in, always put the workin, to what their spittin’, take it line by the line, rewrite-en they rhymes, their spending the time, look past all their crimes, take the lesson in, that we learn from them, that Discipline is in, that’s what it takes, to be made, to be one of the greats, let’s put into our lives, whet they put in their songs, we can be so strong, keep on movin on, keep on going long, yeah don’t stop now, Discipline is how, the time is now!

In other words, even though rappers are often shady people, there is a lesson for all of us to be learned by appreciating the Discipline that is required by their craft and the time they spend formulating creative and impact-full phrases.

DISCIPLINE DAILY DOUBLE: 1. Try to find and appreciate the Discipline in someone or something that you have never seen before. 2. Think about something going on in your life where you could be empowered by applying the kind of careful meticulousness that singers and songwriters often put into word-smithing.

Do you have a topic you would like to see me write about? Do you have thoughts on one of my previous posts? Do you have tips for all of us for staying Disciplined? What areas of your life are you or aren’t you currently being Disciplined? Please post your thoughts, you will get a response. RoryVaden is a 23 year old youth motivational speaker and comedian who talks to high school and college aged kids about interpreting the messages of pop culture and incorporating more personal Discipline into their lives.

This entry is a response to some questions from Emily Petro. Her entire comment can be seen in the “coments” section, but she asked: Am I power hungry? Is Discipline a panacea? A cure-all?

Am I power hungry? Yes. Everyone is; period end of story. They may not be willing to admit it, but everyone is power hungry for things that are important to them. By power however, we are using my definition which is: Power is the belief that you have the resources available to accomplish the things you want and need. We are not talking about Power in the traditional sense that most people think about it, ie – to rule over others.

In fact authority is just another mechanism used by people to try and fill a hole in their heart that is left empty from a lack of Discipline. One of the great acts of Discipline is to turn down authority.

Money, sex, substance addictions, authority, materialism, gambling, and gluttony are all mechanisms that people use to fill a hole in their heart. Some people want to feel important, some want to be wanted, some want to feel happy, some want to feel adventurous, and some just want to feel physically good. People use the above mechanisms as vehicles to try to accomplish those feelings, but any one of these vehicles projected out over an infinite time period indefinitely still leads to emptiness.

Discipline applied in the right direction can accomplish any of the above desired feelings. Meanwhile, A truly Disciplined person is confident enough in his or her ability to get the things that he or she wants (or believes through faith that they will be given). At the same time this person is secure enough to be fulfilled by whatever he or she desires and thinks is good, rather than by pursuing what others tell him or her is good. There are really only two things to do: things you want to do and things you don’t want to do. If you have the Discipline to do things you don’t want to do, then you have created the power to do anything. Fulfillment and confidence comes from this ability and from one other place; faith.

Is Discipline a panacea? In terms of fulfillment, security, self esteem, and happiness, it certainly is, but it is quite difficult for a person to reach that level. I have not because I still too often am concerned about what others think about me. Is Discipline a cure-all? No, I don’t know how it can cure diseases of the physical body; but it certainly goes a long way for the spiritual and mental body which are obviously tied to the physical body.

DISCIPLINE TIP: Do something that you know is good for you but that you don't want to do (no matter how small). Upon completing the task acknowledge the feeling (get "present") of genuine fulfillment that you have provided for your life in this 1 small task. Multiply this out times an infinite number of tasks for every day of your life and you have fulfillment. Discipline is personal; it's about being Disciplined about things that are important to you, only you.

Do you have a topic you would like to see me write about? Do you have thoughts on one of my previous posts? Do you have tips for all of us for staying Disciplined? What areas of your life are you or aren’t you currently being Disciplined? Please post your thoughts, you will get a response. RoryVaden is a 23 year old youth motivational speaker and comedian who talks to high school and college aged kids about interpreting the messages of pop culture and incorporating more personal Discipline into their lives.

Ooooh! This is a touchy subject today…pre marital sex. Here’s what I’m NOT going to do: tell you that you should or should not wait to have sex until you are married. I know it’s risky but I assume that you are all big boys and girls who are capable of determining your own set of values and beliefs. However…

Regardless of whether you believe pre marital sex is good or bad, right or wrong, a sin or a prayer come true; I have noticed an extraordinary power in being Disciplined and not having sex until you are married, for two reasons.

First, a couple who waits to have sex until they are married (both parties are virgins) innately bring a power to a relationship that other couples may or may not have. By being Disciplined and waiting to have sex you have shown to your partner that you are Disciplined enough to resist temptation in their absence; and that was even before you knew who it was you were going to marry.

It is very powerful to have this proof because a major part of any mature relationship is trust and a large part of that is trust that your mate will not cheat on you. Virgin couples have a major bullet on their resume in this department. I’m not saying that couples where each or one partner has had sex before should not trust each other, nor that virgin couples will never cheat; but I am pointing out an amazing power that is brought to a beginning relationship that gives each partner confidence in the other’s Discipline.

Second is simply commitment. If a person has the Discipline, the strength, and the commitment to wait to have sex for someone they have never met then they again bring a power to a marriage by having already proven and established their commitment to the relationship beforehand.

DISCIPLINE CHALLENGE: (I can only speak to the value of this exercise for many young males, but I assume it has relevance to all) Closely monitor your quiet thoughts that you have about attractive strangers; if and when you have a sexual thought see if you have the Discipline to remove it immediately from your mind. Remember, adultery is committed by lust of the eyes and the heart and not just in physical action. Learning to monitor and control all of your thoughts (not just sexual) is crucial in leading a Disciplined lifestyle.

Do you have a topic you would like to see me write about? Do you have thoughts on one of my previous posts? Do you have tips for all of us for staying Disciplined? What areas of your life are you or aren’t you currently being Disciplined? Please post your thoughts, you will get a response. RoryVaden